Yesterday was a beautiful spring day. It finally started to warm up and it hadn’t rained in 2 whole days! As we pull in the driveway, coming home from swimming lessons, we see the neighborhood kids playing in the tree next to our driveway. This is the popular hangout spot for the kids in the cul-de-sac. Previously, whenever I was outside gardening, Garrett could go out and play with them, always supervised.
Last night, just as we were getting out the car, the neighbor girl runs over and asks Garrett to play with them. Here I am torn, as I need to get into the house and start dinner and watch the little one, but I totally want him to go play with them. He is only 4 years old. These kids range from 8 to 13years old. I know they are bigger, but very friendly and allow him to run around with them. I finally decided to postpone dinner, have dear husband watch Gavin and go out and do a little Gardening… I’m not comfortable letting him play alone yet, that’s for sure. If I could see right out my window and watch him that may be different, but unfortunately the way the house sits I can’t see where they are. Sooooo here’s the question: At what age do you let your children play outside in the neighborhood alone? When is this acceptable? I have no idea if I every will feel comfortable. I know we live in a very safe neighborhood with very little traffic and we know all our neighbors. We are blessed with all these things. I think back to my childhood and I was running around at a very young age. However 30 years ago we didn't know all that we do today! And I was blessed with older siblings that watched for me.
3 comments:
Well, I don't know how we watched you!! I think it will be a process, but something you will need to coach him on over the next year. Teach him how to be independent and responsible. Make it clear he needs to stay with the group of kids, how to stick up for himself and tell others if he has a problem. As he becomes more comfortable with the group, then start giving him more space and check in to see how it is going.
My kids are 6, 4, and 2, and I don't let them play out front by themselves, or with neighbor kids by themselves. But I could see it happening as they get older, or if the kids on our street were the ages as the ones you describe on your street.
I think it has less to do with knowing things we didn't 30 years ago--because crime rates are actually lower than they were back then--and more with what community norms are. For whatever reason, it's just not socially acceptable to let kids play by themselves as much. Concerned neighbors will call the police if they even think kids are unsupervised--this happened to a friend of mine when she was in the garage (out of view from the street) and someone driving by saw her son playing in the driveway, appearing to be by himself.
Truly, I think it's all about your comfort level. You have to listen to your mommy instincts! If these were neighbor kids you knew super well and trusted, then I wouldn't think letting him play with them was a big deal. Obviously something inside of you questioned it, so you didn't.
I think the sibling thing is a big factor too. I will let Beth and Lucy together do things such as ride bikes to the end of the block and back, whereas when Beth was 4 (like Lucy is now) I didn't have a sibling to send along with her, so I wouldn't have let her go by herself. Even if one isn't "babysitting" the other, with two of them they can just be watching out for each other.
Yes definitely waiting a few years. I think probably once he's in grade school full time and independent. We are fortunate all the kids play between our house and our neighbors. His pleading to me "please, please, please!" Always gets to me! He seems so big these days, growing up so fast! I am sure I will be different once gavin gets bigger. He will probably be taller than Garrett in a few years! Yikes!
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